That call to Registrar's Office is matches in the dark, a cup of H2O under the scorchful sun, a bowl of hot creamy cheese soup during winter...How wonderful it is when i heard the words came from the officer that I can make my amendment with my Form A via email and they will consider the latest correction of it! I guess that there's some kinds of extraordinary power which guides me and enlightens me in doing all those stuff to amend the mistake that i have done. It sounds exaggerated, well...I'm too happy with that and feel that I'm lucky. Thanks for the chance given. I promise, I will not do anything foolish in future and just stick to the ground. I will...

           I feel very confused and preoccupied with many things around me. What had happen with me? Am i too childish and ignorant to take all the risk with myself? Or is due to my "self-highly-estimated" attitude that all the things will be solved by my mean? Is that possible? It's not, i'm too arrogant. Now only i realized my mistake in some of the forms submission, any chance for me to do the amendment? Who can help me?  

          QUALIFYING ENGLISH TEST (QET)...19th July...International students with their own General Paper in other language except English, are required to sit for this test. Before knowing the terms and conditions, for me, such test is mainly designed for those students who are weak in English and own a lackness in English proficiency. But, it's not that kind of matter. I need to have it instead, or i will sit for it.

          Oh my God, i wonder how my English is getting down the hill since i didn't have the intention or even motivation of myself to hold an English novel in my hands. My terrible uncertainty and insecureness of being categorized as "weak-in-English chinese people" is driving me to crazy...not yet, just be depressed.

          During the year of 2005, it was my lower-sixth form, i took a gamble to try for the "Malaysians' recommended as nationwide-recognised English test"--MUET (Malaysia Universities English Test). Fortunately, i got a quite good band as Band5, it made me felt contented with that so-so level of my English. Yes, at that time, i was surprised with that kind of easiness of getting good grade. Is MUET a definition for English standard? Now, i can say it's not. A Band5 student should not have any difficulties in pronunciation of words even those words are never being seen before, and, will have no problem with vocabulary, yet must not be ambiguous in understanding any phrases. But, all these happen on me, am i really a Band5 achiever? Sometimes, i will think of it many times as possible, keep on asking myself, in what way should i need to improve my language usage, improvise the learning methods? Is that my arrogance impoverish my learning attitude?

          I should make use of this moment to enrich my knowledge and hope there's somebody who is willing to enlighten me.

          During afternoon, i was elicited by some phrases of words appeared in tv brief intro of a programme. "A siren...A sign of disaster...A sign of hope." Although it's just a simple sentence, i can feel the deepest mean of such message to be broadcasted. It made me ponder for a few minutes...

          During my secondary studies, i was the student who would normally choose the seat near the windows, not just bcos i can grab the chance to view the scenic environment around my school compound or stay away from teachers' attentive eyes...actually, i prefered to feel the fresh air around me. But, my attention on certain topics of teaching would sometimes b disturbed or can be said greatly interrupted by those "bi...boo...bi...boo...." ,siren of ambulances. I still remember, at the moment, i would close my eyes n pray for the person lying on the stretcher in that passing-by ambulance. This was done under a very natural circumstance, i would do that on the time of hearing siren.

          I wonder that, it's the hope...the only hope for a sick, injured or a person who's walking in the frontline of fighting with death. It's a sign of hope, although it's just slim and mayb it's helpless. Sometimes, i can't make myself to think of people dying in ambulance which is driven on the way to a place to heal. It's cruel to hav such thought. But, for the person who is there, he will definitely feel the peace and tranquility as he realizes that he is not alone to fight with death n is accompanied by a group of medical specialists in reaching hospital in a short time.

          But, in contrary, some people will undergo a phobia condition as mayb they once experienced losing their loved before the ambulance successfully sending them to hospital or just before the siren was heard. Some of them can feel the fear n panic deep inside their heart once a siren is heard, they wonder if there's another left his beloved parents, kids or friends.

          I choose to believe that, a siren is a sign of hope, a sign of rebirth, a sign of regain the lost.

          "Fen...going 2 Singapore is better than staying in Malaysia. U should go for it!", "Hey, congratulations! Not everyone can get Singapore universities offer.", I heard it from many people and i'm used to their reactions when my parents proudly answered them as they will normally "insert" some questions about my future plan and studies after STPM in their informal conversation. But, there's some people who will give another "weird" responses..."Huh?!! What NUS and NTU? Y never heard b4?", "Y don't u wait 4 Malaysia government universities? Isn't that UM good?"...Sometimes, i was puzzled by those "aunties and uncles' " questions. How should i tell them? Directly tell them that i'm not confident with our country education system, or i should say that my result was not that kind of "good" to secure a prominent place in local universities? I'm in conflict. We can't explain or even say it out loud that what's the problem that a chinese STPM holder will b encountered.

          Since i got the chance for me to abandon such dilemma, i'm glad. Firstly, i was so happy that i got the offer from NTU. It made me indulged in a world of happiness, but, due to its brief acceptance-considering-period, i got myself in trouble again as i wish that i could get the admission outcome of NUS b4 the deadline. As saying goes, human is the most greedy creature on earth, i strongly agree. Luckily, everything was smooth in progress, i got the offer of NUS in the next week. Thanks God!!! I feel that i'm the luckiest people!

          At that moment, i realised how tough 4 a person to make a decision. It's not only buying garlic or onion in wetmarket, it's a choice that will lead to my 40 yrs life in future, mayb...Still now, i can't predict or frankly tell that is it a good decision, but, i know it's worth to b chosen.